


Feel Something

by SoldiersWar



Series: Feel Something [1]
Category: Bucky Barnes - Fandom, Captain America (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Avengers - Freeform, Brooklyn, Captain America Steve Rogers/Modern Bucky Barnes, F/M, Hydra (Marvel), New York, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:40:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25798312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoldiersWar/pseuds/SoldiersWar
Summary: You’re new to working in a unit that works alongside The Avengers. Due to your troubled past, you're having a hard time adjusting to your new life. As you try to go about this new life as smoothly as possible, the presence of the infamous Bucky Barnes begins to complicate that very task.
Relationships: Avengers Team & Reader, Avengers Team/Reader, Bruce Banner/Bucky Barnes/Clint Barton/Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov/Tony Stark/Thor/Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes/Clint Barton/Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov/Sam Wilson/Original Female Character(s), James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Series: Feel Something [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1871638
Kudos: 61





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Smut (Chapter 3)

Saying that getting used to your new life working alongside some of the world’s most important and well-regarded people on the planet was a “challenge” was a big understatement. But getting used to being at a party with all of them would be a task that seemed almost more difficult than the former.  
More and more people walked through the door or Steve’s Brooklyn apartment. They greeted each other, laughed, joked, settled in, and seemed to be having a great time.   
You had no idea why you were actually there, or why you agreed to even go in the first place. You didn’t feel like you had the right to even deserve their hospitality towards you. So, you stayed in a corner and tried to go unnoticed while sipping on your, (what was it), third drink?   
“I see you too are an observer?” acknowledged someone next to you.   
It was Natasha.   
As much as all the Avengers and company adored her, she too was one to stay on the sidelines when she felt like it. If she was being conversational, it was going to be with one or two people in a quiet corner, or when she was acting as bartender. She just liked to play it off as being too cool for big groups at once, and honestly, it worked for her. But now for whatever reason, you seemed to be her target of interest.   
“Remind me your name? Y/N, right?”   
You knew that she knew your name. But that was just her way of striking conversation with the likes of someone as quiet as you.   
“Good to see you, Natasha,” you greeted attempting to show a kind smile before taking another big sip of your drink.   
“Not really your scene, I gather?” she inquired.   
You shrugged nonchalantly and smiled attempting to play it as cool as her. Unfortunately, you knew that your efforts at masking feelings in front of her while on the verge of being drunk were in vain.   
“Steve!” you greeted cheerfully as he approached you for a hug. You tried to pretend that maybe he didn’t hear the overcompensation in your voice.   
“Y/N it’s great to have you here. I’d say make yourself at home and have a drink but I see that you already--”   
You raised your red cup in his direction and tipsily croaked in a high pitched voice,  
“Cheers!”   
He chuckled and bumped his plastic red cup with yours.   
Suddenly your efforts to seem cheerful failed you as a familiar face entered the room. You could feel all of the color leave your face, and numbness began to overtake your occupied hand. Luckily, it wasn’t enough to make you drop your cup. In fact, you looked down to realize that you were actually gripping onto it even harder.  
Steve turned around and saw what or who the culprit was.   
He turned back to you.   
“Y/N, I’m sorry I should have told you. It was last min—”   
“Why are you apologizing?” you reassured in hushed tones.  
“He’s your best friend. It would be stupid for me not to think that he wouldn’t be here.”  
It’s not that you thought it was strange that Bucky Barnes would be at the party…You were just too bubbleheaded to even think about it as a possibility in the first place.   
Steve set a sympathetic hand on your shoulder and said goodbye before making his way over to Bucky.   
You decided that you needed to be distracted, and resolved that it was time to allow yourself to have fun and get to know more people; especially the ones you were working within your unit. So you struck up a conversation with Natasha and began to familiarize yourself with each other. Eventually, others joined you, and you surprisingly began to enjoy yourself. For the first time in a long time, you finally started to feel your true personality start to pop out, and it felt good.   
But one thing that you couldn’t help doing was glancing across the room at none other and Bucky himself. Or as you had once known him as ‘The Winter Soldier’.   
It was weird for you to see him as a normal human being doing exactly what you were doing with a calm demeanor. He stood in the open kitchen leaning against the counter talking to Sam and Wanda. He too seemed to be enjoying himself. But if you didn’t know any better, it seemed as though he’d sneak a glance at you too.   
“Y/N,” said one of the agents across from you in the little 5 person circle you were in.  
“You knew him back in the day, right? Back when you were with Hyd—’   
“Aaron,” snapped the girl next to him.  
He raised his hands in surrender and apologized.  
“It’s cool,” you reassured in hushed tones. It seemed to be something that you had to do a lot that night.   
“I wouldn’t say I knew him. But I did work with him.”   
Everyone around you went quiet for a moment, and the tension began to be too much for you. It wasn’t like it was awkward that he mentioned you having been with Hydra before. It was the whole reason you were there. It was the whole reason that most of the people circulating around you were there. That small faction of you were valuable because you knew how Hydra worked, and what they could possibly be doing next. And your methods for the past 6 months were effective. But no matter how much you did to help eliminate them as much as they possibly could be, there was no pretending that none of you came out of that dark organization without crippling guilt and both literal and emotional scars that would never heal. And you all had your own unique set of triggers. Sometimes yours was the thought of seeing a familiar face. And the only familiar face that you knew just happened to be Steve Rogers’s best friend.   
“I don’t know about you guys,” you sighed trying to sound chipper.  
“But I’m gonna get me another drink. Anyone want one?”   
Everyone shook their head as you walked off toward the kitchen to where the booze was. You noticed that Bucky wasn’t around there anymore. Maybe he left?   
You disregarded it, grabbed your drink, and decided that you needed air. So once your cup was full of “mystery punch” as Sam liked to call it, you headed to the balcony.  
The fresh, cool autumn air felt nice as you inhaled and exhaled your worries away. You centered yourself and decided that you weren’t going to let anything bother you. You were going to have to face other aspects of your past that didn’t involve planning operations. Sure, there were other people like you in your unit, but none were familiar faces. And they certainly weren’t someone as significant as the Winter Soldier. Or rather, Bucky Barnes.  
Speaking of…  
You felt a quiet presence near you. To be honest, you wouldn’t have even noticed had it not been for the click of a lighter followed by the faint smell of cigarette smoke across the balcony.  
It was him.   
Was he there the whole time?   
“You didn’t strike me as the smoker type,” you said.   
He snapped his head in your direction seeming just as surprised as you were that you were on the balcony, much less strike up a conversation with him.  
He pulled the cigarette out of his mouth and look down at it for a second.   
“I’m not,” he shrugged.  
“Well…If I’m at something like this. Force of habit I guess.”   
You raised an eyebrow.  
“You go to these a lot?”  
He shook his head.  
“No, I meant back…you know.”   
You felt like an idiot.   
“Sorry, I’m being stupid,” you stuttered reaching your nervous hand out to shake his.  
“I’m Y/N.”   
He looked at you, tilted his head for a split second before putting the cigarette back in his mouth to shake yours with his warm flesh hand.   
“Bucky,” he answered taking the cigarette out of his mouth with the other hand. Not that he had to. He had to know that you knew who he was.  
“I believe I’ve heard about you, Y/N.”  
You were relieved that he didn’t continue his introduction with ‘I remember you’. From what you understood he remembered a lot from his dark past. So much so that he worked on the sidelines of the unit that you worked with.   
He was very different from, well…the other times that you had interacted with him. There was a softness in his voice when he wasn’t speaking in Russian. His eyes were kind, and he was gentle when he took your hand to squeeze it. It was like meeting an entirely new person, but with the same face.   
You wondered what was going on in his mind. Was he introducing himself to you because you were a completely new person to him? Or was he being polite and trying not to acknowledge the fact that you had worked together during the darkest times of your lives? And if it was the former, why did it seem as though he was taking an occasional glance in your direction before your mutual retreat from the crowd?   
“Are you enjoying yourself?” you asked nervously.   
He took a long seemingly anxious drag and exhaled to the side before answering.   
“It’s a nice party. Not as bad as I thought it would be I guess.”   
He seemed to be holding back from what he really wanted to say. But who were you to pry? And it wasn’t like you didn’t understand, or weren’t in pretty much the same situation. He was just probably feeling the same way a grander scale than you could ever imagine.  
“Is this your first one?” he asked.   
You nodded.  
“Well, everyone seems to like you. From a distance, you seem to fit right in.”   
So he did notice you.   
“One could say the same for you too,” you replied.   
He gave you another soft smile. A smile that made you feel more and more at ease by the second. You returned it hoping you made him feel the same way.  
He offered you a cigarette, and you politely accepted. As you stepped forward to lean against the railing of the balcony you tentatively took the first drag which was followed immediately by an involuntary coughing fit.   
“I’m sorry,” you gasped as you watched the orange glow of the end of the cigarette drop all the way to the sidewalk.   
“You didn’t strike me as the smoker type,” he snorted.   
You turned to him and rolled your eyes as you chuckled at his amused expression.   
“Okay, I see you have jokes now,” I huffed playfully.  
He shrugged.  
For the next hour or so, you both stayed on the porch and talked. He was funny in a sarcastic sort of way. He talked about Steve and so many of the shenanigans that he would get himself and Bucky into from the time that they were children up until their adulthood. You talked about how some had to talk Steve off the ledge from doing something stupid, and Bucky responded by rolling his eyes unsurprised about what you had to say. You even talked about some of your own blunders. (Of course, only recent blunders).  
And for that time, you completely forgot about his and your past. You forgot that he may or may not have remembered you, and it didn’t matter. You were nothing more than two people who had just met. Two people who enjoyed each other’s company.   
“Y/N! You still want a ride home?” asked Natasha noticing when she realized who you were with on the balcony with a seemingly surprised expression.   
“Or are you good?”   
You had totally forgotten that you asked Nat for a ride home on her new motorcycle.  
“No, I’m coming,” you replied before turning to Bucky to say goodbye.   
“I guess I’ll see you around, maybe?”   
He gave you that same soft heart-melting smile.   
“Yeah. You will.”


	2. Feel Something (PT II)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your friendship with Bucky grows stronger as reminders of your past come forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff/angst chapter. Smut to come soon.   
> Sorry, this chapter took so long to post. I was extremely stressed out from Uni, and didn't have the mental energy to write until recently. <3 Thanks for sticking around.

_“Yeah. You will.”_

It was the last thing that he said to you before you left. And despite all of the stuff that you had talked about to each other, those three words were what stuck with you the most. It played in your head over and over again up until sunrise. And although you thought that it was unlikely to happen, you eventually drifted off into a deep sleep. And the first and last face you saw before you woke up was his…

That night at the party was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. For the next couple of months, you both enjoyed and preferred to work with each other. You even spent time with each other outside of that setting when you wanted to. But unless you were talking about official business, you never talked about the past. At least not the Hydra part of it. And you most definitely never spoke about the fact that you had met before. You didn’t even know if he even knew. And if he didn’t, it made sense. You were hardly a significant role in his life then. You were just one of many faces within that 70-year nightmare.

As you were on your way out to get some food, you looked down at your buzzing phone with urgent messages from both Bucky and Natasha.

As you walked over to the room looking down at your phone, you found yourself running into the glass door, and lightly banging your head. Nothing much was hurt except for your ego as everybody in the room turned around to your direction to see what the noise was about.

“I didn’t take you for the clumsy type,” said Bucky who seemingly out of nowhere was behind you, opening the door.

“I get it, you have jokes,” you groaned.

You made your way over to where everyone else was where they were observing a holographic screen with multiple files accompanied by photos of eerily familiar faces on display.

“Is there a reason you guys called me here?” I asked, trying to process what and who I was seeing on screen.

Bucky’s face grew serious, making you wonder what the fuss was about.

Near the back of the room were Steve, Natasha, and two other agents that you didn’t quite know yet, but also carried the same serious expression.

“What is it?”

…

You spent the next 8 hours working closely with everyone trying to figure out the logistics of what was going on with this new base that had been discovered the day before by one of the guys with you. Names and faces were identified. Some new, some old, and some that were definitely familiar to you. Seeing a lot of those faces brought flashbacks to things that had happened to you during that time.

“Y/N…Y/N, are you okay?”

Bucky’s soft voice began to break through to you, and you looked up to his concerned face.

“Why? What’s up?”

You hadn’t realized that you had been staring off into space for the past 5 minutes while tracing your fingers along an old scar on the side of your abdomen. The ball in your throat would not let you answer, and you were trying everything in your power not to cry in front of everyone. You looked around to see if you were making a spectacle out of yourself. But luckily nobody was paying attention except for him.

You weren’t sure if Bucky being the one paying attention made that better or worse. All while trying to make it look like you weren’t doing those things, you just had to focus on breathing and trying not to cry. By the look on his face, you were failing.

He didn’t say a word, but his eyes said, _“It’s gonna be okay.”_ And after a few seconds, the heaviness in your chest, and the lump in your throat began to subside. Just those few seconds allowed your head to clear. Your thoughts were less foggy, your ability to put two and two together sharpened, and you were finally able to say what you were afraid to even suspect of being the truth.

“I think it’s Sin. They’re working for Sin,” you announced.

The two other ex-hydra agents’ faces turned white when you said what you said.

Natasha’s brow furrowed.

“You mean—”

“Red Skull’s granddaughter? Yeah,” you replied.

“If she’s in charge…We need to stop this now.”

…

“You didn’t have to take me home, Bucky,” you sighed.

“I just wanted to make sure you made it home okay,” he replied.

“Today must have been a lot for you.”

You defeatedly shrugged and opened your apartment door silently motioning an invitation.

You dropped your stuff in the middle of the floor, quickly making your way over to the kitchen.

“You want water?” you offered, barely registering just how out of breath you sounded.

“Y/N,” he replied with a concerned tone.

“No really.”

You could barely register the panic that was starting to bubble up in your voice.

“I mean I have juice, or booze, or—”

“Y/N…”

“I mean it’s really no bother,” you babbled on.

“I mean I know I protested you coming along with me but—”

Suddenly, he was standing in front of you placing his right hand on your shoulder to get you to stop.

“Y/N, it’s okay to admit that you’re not okay.” 

You found yourself pausing. Your mind shifted, in fact, froze at the feeling of his warm hand on you. Just that one touch made everything go quiet for one brief moment, just like his stare made you feel earlier.

You took in a deep breath through your nose.

“You know how some things just come back? Like, for a while it’s just a memory…It’s over. In fact, sometimes it may not even feel real. But now…”

He nodded, and his jaw clenched when your voice trailed off.

“But now…I mean I signed up for this, but I just…Some things come up and—”

“You knew her,” he interrupted.

“Sin.”

You didn’t even give him a yes or no answer, you just lifted your shirt and showed him the scar on the right side of your abdomen.

“You know she tried to kill me?”

He furrowed his brow and tilted his head. His eyes expressing something between shock and sadness.

“Listen, I _know_ that I did bad things. And I’ll have to live with that for the rest of my life. But I was never a _psychopath,_ ” I stated, before once again pointing at the scar again.

“She’s jealous and vindictive. I defied her idea _once_ while we were working in the same unit, and within two seconds of me doing that she shoved a knife in and out of my side, and put me in the hospital for two weeks.”

You began to breathe even heavier at the memory. 

“And that’s just the tip of the iceberg with her. Whenever she tried to come up with plans, even _our_ higher-ups thought that she was too extreme.”  
That moment of calm subsided and although you tried to mask it, you felt like you were choking on air.

Within a second, Bucky wrapped his arms around you, and you buried your face in his chest as you began to sob. And he didn’t say a word. All he did was hold you as though he was the only thing able to hold you up. And honestly, he was.

You didn’t really know what came over you, and what compelled you to do what you were about to do. You had told yourself time and time again that you wouldn’t bring it up. And yet, something within you at that moment felt the need to know.

“You remember me, don’t you?” you whispered as you finally began to calm down again.

And after an apprehensive pause, and the feeling of him nodding, you had your answer.

Your heart fluttered as you lifted your head to look up at him.

Another nagging question escaped your lips.

“Are you punishing yourself?”

He frowned in confusion, bringing his hands up to wipe the tears away from your face.

“Is seeing me a punishment for you?”

He shook his head and paused. He opened his mouth to say something, but he didn’t seem to be able to put the words together.

That was until he slowly, and softly pressed his lips to yours.

For a while, you had constantly asked yourself the question as to what would happen if you asked him those questions. Out of the possibly hundreds of scenarios, some were good, others were bad. But that was definitely not what you were expecting. But despite that fact, you didn’t freeze. You melted into his kiss. And without taking a moment to think further, you pulled yourself even closer to him by wrapping your arms around him and kissing him deeper.

It didn’t feel like a whirlwind. It didn’t feel scary, and it definitely didn’t feel unnatural. It felt safe, warm, gentle. He felt like home.

He eventually pulled his lips away from yours, but rested his face on the top of your head before ever so softly whispering,

“Does that answer your question?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there are mentions of 'Sin', who in the comics is 'Red Skull's' daughter, but for this story, we're just going to make her his granddaughter.


	3. Chapter III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You learn just how much Bucky likes you, and how much you like him.  
>  \--------------------------------------------Smut----------------------------------------------------

What started off as a soft, tender kiss escalated quickly. Your breaths grew heavier by the second. Every second that went on added fuel to a rapidly growing fire. With his lips attached to yours, you found yourself moving backward until you reached the edge of the kitchen counter.

You sensed that he was being cautious with you; as if unsure just how far he was able to go with you, or how tightly he was able to hold you; as though you were a delicate flower. You wanted him to know that you weren’t.

With his help, you pulled yourself up to sit on the counter hand resting on the back of his neck, and the other gripping onto the side of his torso with the other hand and further pulling him towards you.

He noted the invitation letting out a soft groan when you wrapped one of your legs around him and pushed your hips forward against his. That alone made you feel like you were going to explode if he didn’t have you right then.

You abruptly pulled away for a moment to rip your shirt off in a swift movement exposing your braless figure.

His pupils were blown at the sight, but didn’t look for too long before attaching his mouth to your neck, and letting his hand trail down your stomach to the hem of your pants sliding lower and lower until he reached…

You let out a sharp gasp when his hand made contact with your bundle of nerves running torturously soft, and quick circles. 

Tension and energy pulsed between the two of you. Your heart was beating so fast, you felt as though you were going to pass out. Before you knew it, you were silently directing him to take you to your bed. You wanted him. And you wanted him right there, right then.

When he dropped you onto the bed, you stared in awe as he stood barely a foot away from you in front of the bed taking his shirt off. You waited for him to take off more, but instead, he made his way over to you, hovering on top of you with his face at the level of your abdomen.

He kissed you right above your belly button, and proceeded to slowly kiss his way down lower, and lower while sliding your pants down. When he reached low enough, he took hardly a second before attaching his mouth to your core. You gasped, throwing your head back, and gripping on to his hair as his mouth assaulted your clit.

You felt like your entire body was going numb, or even like you were going to pass out. When you finally looked down at him, you made contact with his perfect blue eyes looking up at you, scanning your breathless form with what you could have sworn was a hint of a smirk on his face. Just that look alone had you reeling, and you could feel that familiar heat buildup inside of you.

He knew that you were close by the way that you were gasping, and whimpering even more and louder thank you were a minute before.

Your hands gripped harder and harder against his hair, and your body started shaking the closer you got to your peak…Right before he pulled away.

You let out a desperate whine. Every nerve in your body was screaming, and your body continued to tremble so badly wanting a release. There was a residual hint of a smirk in his eyes.

As he began to stand up again, you shot up and made your way to unbutton his pants, pulling everything down before he had a chance to do anything else himself.

When his cock sprung free, you stared wide-eyed at it for a few seconds processing his size. Your breath hitched thinking about how he’d feel inside your mouth, and you found your core aching even more at the sight of how hard he already was for you.

You looked up at him with innocently wide eyes as you stroked up and down his shaft while teasingly licking at his throbbing tip.

His breaths grew heavier, and his hand grazed the side of your head and tangled his fingers in your hair softly encouraging you to keep going. Instead of taking it little by little as he might have guessed you would, you pushed yourself as far as you possibly could letting his tip hit the back of your throat until you hit your gag reflex a little bit, not quite being able to take all of him in. His hand clenched on to your hair even harder, and whether that was the goal or not it coaxed you to start bobbing your head at a steadily faster pace. You could tell that he was trying to hold still, but as your pace grew faster he couldn’t hold back on pushing his hips forward until you finally able to take all of him, swallowing around his tip that was down your throat.

“Fuck,” he sighed shakily before abruptly pulling you back by your hair away from his pulsing cock.

You took in just how perfect he was when looking up at him, making you start reaching down to touch yourself. But instead of letting you, he grabbed you by the sides and moved you to the middle of the bed.

While hovering over you, he kissed you deeply, passionately, lustfully; and you reveled in the fact that you could taste yourself on his lips.

“Y/N, are you sure you want to do this?” he whispered. 

You were so breathless that you couldn’t even answer with words. You responded by kissing him wildly and rolling your hips towards his letting him know that you were so ready.

When he lined himself up and entered you, you felt something between a little bit of a sting, and relief. He was gentle and started off slow letting you adjust to his size. Once again, his touches were careful as if trying not to lose control and hurt you.

“It’s okay,” you whispered placing your hands over his coaxing him to tighten his grip on you.

“You’re not going to hurt me.” 

He paused for a moment, still thinking about if he should continue.

You nodded and gave him a soft smile. With your fingers curled in his hair, and one of his hands around your waist you started again at a faster pace, gasping and moaning against each other’s mouths. Every movement, every touch, every kiss, every moment was a dizzying whirlwind, and you never wanted it to end.

Detaching his mouth from your neck, he flipped you over so that you were on top of him staring down at his perfect form, and intoxicated looking face that scanned your body. Your hands landed on his chest steadying yourself, still not faltering on your pace; and he placed his hands on your hips guiding your movements.

“Oh my God,” you sighed under your breath grinding even harder and clawing onto his skin leaving red scratch marks on him. 

He pulled himself forward so that he could kiss you deeply once again now going even faster, and hitting you at a new angle against your g-spot. His hand reached lower once again rubbing torturously fast circles against your clit.

Your foreheads were pressed together, and your mouths were uncontrollably agape when suddenly you were seeing white unable to scream because you simply couldn’t breathe as he continued to fuck your trembling body senselessly through your orgasm. You kissed him sloppily with your sweaty hands still gripping onto his hair as he released hot spurts of cum inside of you, letting out a soft raspy groan.

He collapsed onto his back, and you collapsed forward laying on of him as you attempted to catch your breaths for a few minutes.

Those silent moments laying on him made you feel more at peace than you had felt in a long time, if not ever. His metal hand rested on the small of your back, and with your head on his chest you could hear his heartbeat steady as the seconds went by, and you found that your breaths were even in unison. He felt like...home.

“So I’m guessing you don’t secretly hate me,” you chuckled.

He snorted and lifted your chin to face him so that he could kiss you tenderly.

“Not even a little bit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you so much for the wait. This was the moment I'm guessing most of you were waiting for. There should be two more chapters after this. Thank you so much for reading my work. <3


	4. Feel Something - Chapter IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your plan is seemingly flawless, and the execution seems as though it's right on track to get better. But some unsuspected challenges come forward.

“So you’re meaning to tell me that she’s operating in a hidden base here in New York?”   
“Something like that,” Steve replied.   
“We tried to get a hold of you last night but you wouldn’t answer.”   
With everything in your power, you tried not to blush. Neither you nor Bucky were checking your phones until morning spending the entire night enjoying each other’s company, which only resulted in about 3 hours of sleep. When you had woken up, both of you realized that you had missed multiple calls.   
“I was spending time away from my phone,” you stated.   
It technically wasn’t a lie.   
Bucky who was on the other side of the workstation softly, but awkwardly cleared his throat. And now you were both trying not to laugh.   
Natasha narrowed her eyes, and you tried to imagine a world where she didn’t just figure out what was going on and imagined not having a conversation about it.   
Steve shrugged and continued.  
“By what we were able to dig up, she and her team have been operating on a base somewhere in South America. We also found records of her and associates trying to negotiate for weapons.”  
“Weapons?” you echoed as your breath hitched.   
“A lot of them,” Natasha added.   
“But…Nobody was willing to supply her demands.”   
Not even realizing that you had been holding your breath, you let out a silent but long exhale.   
“That’s good news,” you said, staring at the screen that had a multitude of files on her open.   
“So why don’t we just go get her? Do you know where her hideout is?”   
By the serious expression that remained on everyone’s faces, you knew that that was just the tip of the iceberg.   
“We’re pretty sure that she’s planning on breaking into one of the armories upstate. Specifically this one.”  
Natasha waved her hand around in front of the holographic screen to pull up the location and blew up the image for emphasis.   
Within an instant, you felt your hands go cold, and your face go white.   
Bucky, who was now in the background leaning backward against a began moving forward to get a better look.  
“That’s not—"  
“Yeah,” Natasha interrupted.   
“It is.”   
What they were pointing to was an old underground warehouse that held a huge collection of discontinued Stark weaponry. The weapons in that facility were much bigger than fancy rifles, and grenades. They were serious weapons of mass destruction that could wipe a whole city out in seconds.   
When Stark announced that he would no longer be mass producing warfare equipment, they had built that place just to store all of the things completed, but never to be sold. Tony was the only one that had the authority to disarm them and refused the request to do so. From what Natasha had disclosed with you, it seemed as though keeping them still viable to use was a little bit of a threat. Kind of like his way of saying, “I still have these, so don’t fuck with me.”   
Everyone in the room knew that he’d never use them, but anyone who would dare threaten him didn’t.   
“She has a team of underground experts that are master experts in heists like these. Some of the largest losses in stolen weapons in history was all them. There’s a chance that they could figure out a way to succeed.”   
“Do you really think that could happen?”  
“No,” Natasha snorted.  
“There’s more safety measures than humanly imaginable in there. They might get in, but nothing is coming out with them.”   
You started to feel a little bit relieved.   
“So,” Steve continued.  
“Since we know where they’re going to try to be, we can catch them from the inside when they least expect it.”  
You turned to Bucky who was already matching your stare.  
You were ready.   
…  
You had been hiding in the facility for 5 days waiting for their estimated break-in.   
When formulating the plans you realized that you could not risk them catching you getting into the facility while they tried to break in at the same time. They needed eyes on the inside. And much to everyone’s surprise, you were the first to volunteer.   
The thing about the break-in was that Stark had to make it easier to break in than it would have actually been. With Starks’ full security measures, it would have been nearly impossible for them to get in at all. But, they couldn’t make it too easy so that they wouldn’t get suspicious and run off. The plan depended on them getting into the facility so that at least the biggest targets couldn’t run off into the woods as soon as your team showed up to arrest them. The building was basically a mousetrap. Soon they would break in while you hid in the ceiling until the rest of your team entered in tow. Soon, Sin would be locked behind bars, and out of your life forever.  
You knew that while scouting for Sin’s team, Bucky was always nearby hiding behind or even up in the tree branches of the woods that surrounded the isolated building. During that time, he constantly checked on you through your coms. But you knew that he just enjoyed keeping conversation with you for hours on end. It definitely helped with the occasional bouts of loneliness that hit you. You couldn’t wait to at the very least just be near him once this whole thing was over.  
“Y/N…Y/N?” he said in the middle of day 5.   
“Hm?” you answered groggily waking up from a midday slumber. You had to admit, you had been working so much and so hard for the past few months that you appreciated the extra time you had to nap.   
“There’s a whole team out there analyzing the area. They seem to have pretty high-tech gear. They may get in within the hour. I notified everyone else. They’ll be here in less than 20.”   
You took a nervous deep breath and got up to get all of your gear ready. You had your guns, taser, and an assortment of knives all hidden in different pockets. Now all there was left to do was wait for them to break in.  
…  
Bucky was right. It did take about an hour and a half for them to get in. They had found a way to get the steel entrance door unlocked and disable the already modified security alarm. As you hid above the ceiling, you observed some of the guys trickling in still unsuspecting of the upcoming ambush.   
You were hidden looking through a vent that looked so opaque that there was no way that they could spot you. The room that you were in was the way into a corridor to the other side of the armory. So, it gave you good leverage to see who was where.  
Natasha was now talking to you through your earpiece sending play by play updates so that you knew when it was safe to come out and join them. You watched down below through the vents men coming and going through the room that you had spent most of your time inside and leaving when they realized that there was nothing useful there.   
“Okay, I think you’re safe to come out,” Natasha finally whispered.   
You let out a sigh of relief, and after double-checking your weapon filled pockets, you began to climb down to join everyone.   
But suddenly, as soon as your feet touched the ground you realized by the sound of footsteps that you weren’t entirely safe anymore.   
You recognized those footsteps from anywhere. The smooth, cocky, footsteps of none other than Sin.   
“Well, well, well,” she snickered at the sight of you in. She was seemingly amused by this new predicament of hers.  
“If it isn’t little miss Y/N.”  
“Cynthia,” you chimed mockingly.   
Her snide smile dropped in an instant at the sound of her real name. It felt good to know that you could still get under her skin.  
“South American tan does you well. You ever thought of staying there, I don’t know…Forever?”   
She scoffed.   
“And here I was thinking that this would be a happy little family reunion.”   
You rolled your eyes.   
“You do realize that you’re not getting out of here a free woman, right?” you stated.   
She narrowed her eyes, intensifying her naturally cold stare.   
“Awww,” she coed.   
“I was really hoping to take that offer.”  
You shrugged.  
“Not if I have anything to do with it. Sorry.”  
She accompanied the cold stare with a bone-chilling smirk.  
“Is our little overachieving boss’s pet going to get the job done again?”   
“At least I could get my jobs done.”   
“Until I put you out of commission for almost 3 months,” she pointed out, making you remember the scar on your torso that you showed Bucky not even a week ago.   
You mentally recounted the time you two spent yelling at each other about who had messed up during a mission that you both were on. After a not so pleasant comment on your part, Sin, whose face was inches away from yours stabbed you in a sudden burst of anger. Before she got sent away to another unit across the world while you were in the hospital, she had sneakily left a note that you had later found on your bed that said nothing else but,  
“Well, how else was I going to calm down?”  
“I bet I could put you out of commission for much longer,” she sneered.  
Within half a second after that statement, you both simultaneously pulled your guns out and pointed them at each other.   
“Y/N? we have almost everyone except Sin. Do you have eyes on her?” asked Natasha through your earpiece.   
Sin noticed your momentary change of expression at the sound of Nat’s voice as she took in the sight of your earpiece.  
“Don’t you dare answer that,” she ordered.  
“Throw it across the room, and I might let you live.”   
Bucky’s voice followed Natasha’s question.  
“Y/N? Are you there?” But you couldn’t answer. You did what she said, and threw it across the room.  
“Good girl.”   
“Now what to do? What to do?” Sin huffed tapping her thumb against the safety trigger of her gun matching your stance.  
Just as you were, she scanning you trying to figure out where, when, how, or even if she’d shoot you. She knew that if she did, there was a chance that your reflexes were just as fast as hers. And you knew that that little possibility scared her. In that very situation, she probably didn’t even care that her plans were obliterated. She probably didn’t even if her crew would go to prison, or even get killed. The only thing that Sin cared about was Sin. As long as her skin was saved and she got out of there, she’d be fine.   
“They’re going to find me soon, you know,” you said calmly trying to reason with her.   
“Listen, you put the gun down and I’ll let you go. Give you a head start at least.”   
“Fat chance, Y/L/N. We both know how that would go,” she snorted. 

You raised an eyebrow playing dumb.   
“How?”   
“Like this,” she said using that split second where your guard was down to shoot at you 3 times.  
When she did, you fired two shots at her.   
At first, it seemed as though you had both missed your shots at each other. But it made you wonder why it was that you had taken such terrible aim.   
At least…that was what you were thinking before you looked down in shock; unable to do anything but look at the holes in your shirt begin to spill blood. In that moment of shock, your limbs failed you, and your body crashed against the cold, hard concrete floor.   
“It was nice seeing you again!” Sin exclaimed as her footsteps began to fade into oblivion.   
After she was presumably long gone, you turned in the direction of your earpiece and attempted to crawl towards it to call for help. But it was seemingly too late. You were getting weaker by the second.  
You looked down, and more blood pulsed out of you than you had ever seen in your life. With presumably one functioning lung, your body wasn’t strong enough to let you push yourself forward.   
“Help,” you croaked barely making a sound.   
You attempted to call again even louder, but you failed letting out nothing but a pathetic whimper using the last ounce of strength you had left in your body.   
The last bit of sensation you had in your limbs seemed to drift away, and your vision began to blur. In fact, you began to feel as though you were fading into oblivion. Except, you didn’t feel dread anymore. You felt blurry. Maybe even peaceful as though you were fading into a beautiful, and peaceful dream.   
Before you let it take over you, the last thing you thought about was Bucky.   
“I’m sorry,” was your last thought before you drifted away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a part five so you can chill out...
> 
> Or can you? ;)


	5. Part V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finale.

Blood.

Tears. 

Fear.

Sin.

Overwhelmingly bright flashes of horror flooded your blurry vision in a dream-like haze where time ceased to exist. What felt like milliseconds also felt like hours, days, even weeks. You couldn’t scream, you couldn’t move, you couldn’t even feel the vessel that you inhabited that you once called your body. It was like you were a paralyzed spirit that watched what was unwillingly presented to you; and you weren’t sure why, what it was, and what it even meant. But almost every moment that it was happening, the only coherent thoughts that you were allowed to have were those four words.

Blood.

Tears. 

Fear.

Sin.

Every once in a while you were able to make sense of what was happening. Those few moments where you granted that semblance of clarity, you caught sight of a familiar face. Bucky’s face. A face that could make you smile just at the mere thought of it.

But the images you saw didn’t make you feel that way. In fact, you felt nothing short of unsettled.

He had copious amounts of blood dripping from his hands as he stared at you in terror. You couldn’t hear what he said. But there was one constant thing that you could make out by reading his lips.

_“Stay with me. Stay with me. Don’t go.”_

_Stay where?_ was all you could think.

_Where were you going? Did he know that you would fall into the hazy place?_

But inevitably, the thoughts would fade, and so would you.

…

When your true senses began to come back, your hearing came first. You could hear a faint, steady beeping in the background along with the sound of shuffling feet coming and going.

Eventually, you felt what was around you. You were on a soft surface like a bed accompanied by sheets. They weren’t the most comfortable, but the fact that you could _feel_ it made you feel nothing short of grateful.

Soon, you willed yourself to try to move. But you quickly came to realize that it felt like too difficult a task.

_“Come on, Y/N. You can do this.”_

You started with your fingers. You had a pinky, a thumb, and three fingers in the middle. At least one of them had to be able to move.

You started with the smallest finger. It existed. Soon, you felt yourself feel the sheets under it exist. And finally, you found yourself able to move it. 

_“There we go,”_ said the voice in your head. If your body would have let you, you probably would have been smiling in the wake of your small victory.

You continued trying to get each finger to twitch one by one. Now that you had succeeded the first time with your pinky, the other four weren’t as difficult. It wasn’t too long until you were able to move your whole hand. This was like a game.

_“This is fun,”_ you thought.

You then began to move your hand along the semi-rough sheets of whatever bed you were sleeping in. The movement was arduous and slow, but with vigilance it was possible.

As the movements of your hand became natural, you continued moving it. You kind of liked the feeling of the sheets against your skin. It definitely felt better than whatever was on you in your dreams. But suddenly, you tapped something that wasn’t sheet. It was a soft texture. Something that you could run your hands through. But it felt…familiar. You slowly, and apprehensively inched your hand in that direction feeling mostly bed sheet again. Until you felt something else. The surface was warm but scratchy. Especially against the hypersensitivity of your newly mobile hand.

As you found yourself exploring the strange surface it began to stir.

Was that a…person?

You tapped on the scruffy surface with your index finger just to see if it would do it again. And just as you had hoped, it did.

“What the—” was what he said.

So it _was_ a person.

But after a moment, the warm, scruffy surface that was another human moved away leaving your hand cold, sad, and lonely.

Interrupting the calming beeping sound, there was the sound of what seemed like a faint but sharp gasp. But you didn’t care about that sound. You wanted to feel the warmth against your hand again.

_“Don’t go,”_ said the voice in your head.

Although you knew that there was no way in hell those words escaped your lips, the person seemed to listen. But instead of the scruffiness, you felt an overwhelmingly warm hand accompanied by a cool hand that felt…metallic.

_“Bucky,”_ you thought. That thought alone gave you the strength to start thinking about trying to smile. But you didn’t push it.

“Y/N?”

His voice wasn’t panicked, but it expressed a mild frenzy mixed with what seemed like a form of melancholic hope.

_“I’m here,”_ you replied in your head, frustrated that you couldn’t say the words out loud.

_“I didn’t go anywhere.”_

But he didn’t return the favor. His hands let go of yours leaving you sad again. Maybe he wasn’t convinced that it was all in his imagination, and you were suddenly frustrated with yourself that you didn’t squeeze his hand back.

_“Come back,”_ was the last thought you had before your exhausted mind and body faltered, and you began to fall asleep.

…

“Y/N, can you hear me?” asked a strange voice as his hands pried one of your eyes open flashing a bright light into it.

You had _just_ fallen into a peaceful sleep and suddenly this was happening? What was this?

He pried your other eye open and flashed the bright light into it.

If you had the strength you would have slapped him. Or at least given him the finger. But one thing was for sure; you were awake, and you stared at him. Hopefully angrily.

“Y/N, can you tell me if you can hear me?”

Much to your surprise, you groaned annoyedly. Thank goodness at least this dude could know that you were pissed off.

After the dots that flooded your vision began to fade, you had the pleasure of being blinded by his bright white coat that shown even brighter from the reflection of the sun. But the annoyance that bordered on anger didn’t last long when you felt that familiar, comforting hand rest on your arm.

“Bucky,” you mumbled, happy that the voice in your head was finally beginning to escape. And at that moment, you imagined smiling again. Maybe you even did. And before you drifted back into another peaceful sleep you heard the words,

“Welcome back.”

…

“Come on, Y/N. You at least should take a bite of the pudding,” Bucky insisted.

You narrowed your eyes and slowly forced yourself to bring the spoon to your mouth. He wasn’t wrong to make you start with that. He knew that that chocolate-flavored anything made you happy. So if you were still going to hesitate on putting anything in your still incredibly fragile stomach, that would be the hardest thing to resist. But even after one bite, you were done.

Even though you were leaning with the back of your head against his chest, you being both seated on the long padded seat along the hospital window, he knew the pause meant you were done, so he helped you set it down.

It had been five days since you had been pulled out of your week-long medically induced coma. You were still very weak, and fragile, and would be for quite a while. 

After Sin had shot you and you were rushed to the hospital, it was predicted that you would have to go through multiple surgeries in a short period of time if you were going to make it. And because of that, multiple surgeons agreed that it would be best to keep you under until they could treat you as efficiently as possible. You still weren’t ready to learn the details of what they had to do to you to keep you alive. Not after hearing about how moments after reaching the hospital your heart stopped. Until you were ready, all you needed to know was how what happened to you would affect your presumably long recovery process.

As frustrating as the process had been so far, you had someone who wouldn’t leave your side and practically refused to leave the hospital unless Steve or someone else forced him to go home and get some sleep as long as they promised to stay with you.

That person was Bucky.

He was the first presence you felt while you were waking up. He was there to hold you when you made your first shaky attempts to stand up and walk. And most of all, he was there for you when every single memory of what had happened that fateful day came back to you. Memories that hit you like a freight train and might haunt you forever. When you cried, and trembled in ways that sent tidal waves of pain through your body, all he did was hold you, and reassure you that you were safe. He would do anything to make sure that you would always be safe. 

The day after you were hospitalized they had found Sin and the rest of her team. She woefully admitted defeat and was now in a cell awaiting punishment. The only part that didn’t give you satisfaction was that you didn’t have the pleasure of putting her away yourself. But deep down you knew that she knew that she lost _because_ of you. She may have nearly put you on your deathbed, but in the end, it was her life that was over.

You couldn’t wait for the day that you could finally walk straight to her prison cell, and with only your eyes tell her,

_“I won.”_

You let out a calm, contented exhale as you made yourself even more comfortable leaning back against Bucky. You closed your eyes soaking in every comfortable sensation that came with you being enveloped by him. The feeling of his warm body gently holding yours, the feeling of the steady pulse in his hand that somehow matched your pulse. For the first time, you were able to feel something real and pure. You felt secure. You felt safe.

“What are you thinking about?” he whispered against the top of your head leaving a kiss.

You hadn’t realized until then that you had been silent for a seemingly long time. Usually, when you fell silent like that you were slipping into a bad place.

But that’s not what this was. What was happening in your mind might have been unsettling, but it didn’t feel wrong.

You opened your mouth to speak the words, but found yourself trailing off before even starting. But he gave you that familiar squeeze of the hand that always meant,

_“It’s okay. I’m here. You’re safe.”_

And without a second thought or even looking at him, you tenderly kissed his hand, and ever so softly whispered your answer against it letting the words trace themselves from your lips onto his skin. You could then feel the thrum of his heartbeat grow louder, and his warm hand in yours hold on tighter before finally responding with four little words that would change your life forever.

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this everyone. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.   
> I'm currently taking requests for prompts for either little one-shots or small series. So if you have anything in mind, feel free to send it my way.   
> I love you guys,  
> -J


End file.
